Holding Hands Through the Scary Stuff: Helping Kids When the World's a Mess

Okay, let's be honest. The news? It's a lot. And if we're feeling scared or overwhelmed by it all, imagine what it's like for our kids. They're still figuring out how the world works, and all this scary stuff? It can feel super close and super real. So, how do we help them navigate it without making things worse, without adding to their already brimming anxiety?

Kid Brains and Scary Stuff: Deeper Dive

Kids' sense of distance is still developing. That scary thing they heard about? It feels like it's right outside of their window.

Kids don't process things like we do. A story about something happening far away? They might think it's happening right outside their window. Their sense of scale and distance is still developing. They also have a harder time filtering information so that they can get overwhelmed by details and graphic imagery. And they will notice if we're walking around like we've seen a ghost. Children are incredibly perceptive. They're like emotional sponges, absorbing the anxieties and stresses of the adults around them. It’s important to remember that their fears are real, even if we think they’re overreacting.

Telling them to "just stop worrying" isn't helpful. It invalidates their feelings and can make them less likely to come to us in the future. Instead, we need to meet them where they are, acknowledging their fears and providing reassurance.

Making Home a Safe Zone: Building a Fortress of Calm

First things first, they need to feel safe. This isn't just about locking the doors at night; it's about creating an atmosphere of emotional security.

Real Safety: Practical Steps

• Review safety procedures. Make sure they know what to do in case of a fire, a storm, or other emergencies. Have a designated meeting spot and practice drills.

• Establish clear boundaries around technology and online safety. Monitor their internet use and talk to them about the dangers of sharing personal information online.

• Maintain a consistent routine. Kids thrive on predictability. Stick to regular meal times, bedtimes, and schedules as much as possible.

Kids rely on us for their sense of safety. It's up to us to create the environment they feel free to express their emotions.

Feel-Good Safety: Emotional Anchors

• Be present. Put down your phone and give them your undivided attention. Listen, really listen, when they're worried. Don't interrupt or dismiss their concerns.

• Validate their feelings. Let them know it's okay to be scared, and that you're in their corner. Reassure them that you'll do everything you can to keep them safe.

• Create a calming environment. Dim the lights, play soft music, or engage in relaxing activities together.

Talking About the Tough Stuff (Without Freaking Them Out): A Nuanced Approach

Okay, so how do we talk about the news without making them even more scared? It's a delicate balance between honesty and age-appropriate information.

Deciding what is important for our kids to know is a delicate balance and it may be different every time.

Little Kids (Preschool and Elementary): Simple Explanations

• Use concrete examples and simple language. Avoid abstract concepts and complex explanations.

• Focus on the helpers. Highlight the positive actions of people who are working to solve problems.

• Reassure them that adults are working to keep them safe.

• Limit their exposure to graphic images and disturbing news reports.

Older Kids/Teens (Middle and High School): Engaging in Dialogue

• They're probably already seeing stuff online. Be honest and don't overload them. Acknowledge that the world can be scary and also emphasize the good.

• Ask them what they've heard, and help them figure out what's real and what's not. Encourage critical thinking and media literacy.

• Talk about how to spot fake news and misinformation. Discuss the importance of reliable sources.

• Encourage them to research, become informed, and understand that it is okay to step away from the news cycle.

• Discuss the importance of empathy and compassion. Encourage them to consider the perspectives of others.

Real-Life Tips for Calm: Practical Tools for Coping

Let's get down to the nitty-gritty:

News Breaks: Digital Detox

• Turn off the news sometimes! Seriously. Schedule regular breaks from screens and news.

• Set boundaries around social media. Encourage them to limit their time online and to be mindful of the content they consume.

"Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." - Mr. Rogers

Good News Only (Mostly): Positive Reinforcement

• Show them stories about people helping each other. Kindness is contagious, and it's a great antidote to fear.

• Maybe even encourage them to do something nice for someone. Volunteering, helping a neighbor, or simply performing random acts of kindness can empower them.

  
  

Chill Time: Relaxation Techniques

• Teach them easy ways to calm down, like taking deep breaths, practicing mindfulness, or doing yoga.

• Encourage them to engage in activities they love. Play games, go for a walk, listen to music, or spend time in nature.

• Help them understand that it is okay to have down time, and that rest is important.

Check out this blog post: Mindfulness for Beginners: Techniques for Calming the Mind

Get Creative: Expressive Outlets

• Let them draw, write, paint, or play music. It's a great way to get their feelings out and process them.

• Encourage journaling, or other forms of self expression.

Creative expression helps kids understand and manage their feelings by giving them a safe way to show what they're going through. It turns worries into something they can work with, like a drawing or a story.

Stick To The Plan: Routine and Structure

• Keep those routines going! Dinner time, bedtime, all that good stuff. It makes them feel like things are still normal.

• Even small routines, like reading before bed, can make a large difference.

  
  

Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help: Professional Support

• If they're really struggling, talk to a therapist or counselor. There's no shame in getting a little extra support.

• Be open about mental health, and make sure your child knows that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Check out this blog post: Nurturing Resilience: A Guide to Supporting Children with Mental Illness

Let them take action. Small acts matter.

Show Them They Have Power: Agency and Action

• Even small actions make a difference. Writing a letter, helping a neighbor, or raising awareness can empower a child.

• Encourage them to find age-appropriate ways to take action.

  
  

Be A Good Example: Modeling Resilience

• Kids watch everything we do. If we're freaking out, they will too. Show them how to manage stress in a healthy way.

• Talk about your own feelings, and how you cope with them.

Focus On The Good Stuff: Gratitude and Positivity

• Practice gratitude. What are they thankful for? It can make a huge difference.

• Keep a gratitude journal, or have a daily gratitude practice.

It takes one adult's guidance and support to transform a child's life.

Let Them Know They Aren't Alone: Connection and Community

• Emphasize the importance of friendship and family.

• Encourage them to build strong relationships with trusted adults.

Help Them See Their Own Strength: Building Self-Efficacy

• Remind them of past challenges they have overcome.

• Help them understand that they are capable of handling difficult situations.

  
  

Keeping the Hope Alive: Cultivating Resilience

It's easy to feel like the world's going to pieces and we need to show our kids that there's still good out there. Hope is like a muscle; we have to work it. And resilience? That's bouncing back when things get tough. By fostering a sense of hope and resilience, we equip them with the tools to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.

Check out this blog post: What is Resilience and Why is it Important?

We're not trying to hide the scary stuff, we're trying to give them the tools to handle it. We're showing them that they're strong, that they're loved, and that even when things are tough, we can find our way through it together. And honestly, that's the best thing we can do for them and ourselves.

Please note that the information shared on this post is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health.

You matter. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911. For mental health crises, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line. Help is available 24/7.